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A Foray into Smut - So many colors hidden in one
And oh so much more
shadeofblues
shadeofblues
A Foray into Smut
Fandom: Ninpocho again
Title: Don't have one, this was an experiment.
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Renzo/Tatsuya
Type: One-shot
Warnings: Graphic sex (M/F), genderswap (Tatsuya is physically female, but thinks of himself as male).
PoV: Tatsuya's
Spoilers: No.
Other: I decided to write smut. Here it is. I'm posting it because a few people in chat wanted to read it, for some reason. Oh dear, I think this pairing is actually semi-popular where I frequent. Or maybe it's because I was asking them things about female...things, and therefore actually let them know I was writing it. Tatsuya is my character, which is why it's in his point of view.

Tatsuya wrapped his arms around Renzo's neck, kissing him deeply. He was well aware that the poison running through his friend's veins needed that shock, soon, to be defeated, but he couldn't make himself rush this. He knew exactly how long they had, and that it wouldn't hurt them to take a few seconds here and there.

Renzo appeared mostly shellshocked by this, but recovered quickly enough to take control of the kiss, his hands landing firmly on Tatsuya's shoulders, pushing him back reflexively into the wall. Shocked, he reached forward, weaving white-gloved hands through blond hair, basking in the feeling of their bodies pressed together.

"Ren--" his voice failed him when they pulled apart, he was choking. He had no idea what to do or say now.

They were both flushed red, inches apart, staring at each other, the same thought on both their minds.

Where do we go from here?

Tatsuya was aware he might have slightly more experience in what to do once you'd had your friend's tongue down your throat, but nothing in the past even touched this, and this was real, this was actually happening.

It's not happening just out of desire, he reminded himself sternly. You know that having sex will him will keep him his free will, so you ought to be getting to it.

Renzo didn't seem to be in any desire to hurry, either though. Instead he leaned forward--not that it was really needed--and cupped Tatsuya's face in his hands. The angle their bodies were at made the height difference less important, particularly because he was obviously the one in charge.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you," he said finally, and Tatsuya would have laughed if the situation had been even slightly funny. "I know you're willing to do this, Tatsuya, but that doesn't mean you have to."

"You feel like you're taking advantage of me?" he murmured, not quite willing to meet that intense gaze and see the likely guilt written in it. "I feel like the worst bodyguard in the world for not managing to catch that...no, you aren't taking advantage of me." He glanced upwards again and gave a wobbly smile. "You could never take advantage of me, Ren. Just understand that."

The response he received wasn't verbal, but rather another hesitant kiss, for which he wrapped an arm firmly around Renzo's neck, pulling his body closer with his other hand and pressing their lips together, the silent message you don't have to be so timid. He heard a slight moan but wasn't sure which one of them that was, though it became evident a second later when he felt a hand on his lower back, rubbing and cupping and--

They broke apart again, or at least as far as Tatsuya's arm firmly wrapped around Renzo's waist would allow. They were both flushed red again, or maybe still.

He cocked his head to one side, the question in his eyes why did you stop?

"I'm," for the first time, perhaps, since they'd known each other, Renzo looked nervous. "Not sure what you don't want me to do..."

He puzzled out that sentence for a minute, then shook his head. "Ren," he said gently. "We're going to be having sex. I don't mind where you touch me. I want you to touch me anywhere you want. We're not even going to have any clothes on soon. You don't need to ask permission every time you want to move your hands."

"Right," and that awkward look was adorable, he had to lean forward to kiss it. Before long he was flat on his back on the couch, the two of them having managed to stumble over there, and both of their jackets and boots lay on the floor somewhere in the direction of the desk. He wasn't entirely conscious of how they had gotten there, but decided he definitely liked the feel of Renzo lying on top of him, hands under his shirt and running up and down his spine, making him shiver and moan.

At some point it turned into a race to get each other's shirts off without breaking the kiss, something which it didn't seem to consciously occur to either of them was impossible. Finally Tatsuya felt hands on his shoulders, pinning his arms down, and it finally broke.

They were both panting. He could feel--his cheeks flushed a darker red and he realized it was a good thing Renzo was pinning him, or he'd definitely have reached down his pants--and knew his chest was heaving.

Renzo was staring down at him as if they hadn't known each other for seven years. "Wow," he said finally. "How did we get over here?"

He wriggled down lower, pressing the heat of his groin to Renzo's, and they both gave slight gasps.

"Does it matter?" Tatsuya could feel his desire to break free and strip him naked. He knew Renzo was restraining himself too, for whatever reason.

"No," he admitted, lifting his hands from Tatsuya's shoulders, instead sliding them under his shirt around to his back, fumbling with the clasp on his bra.

When he reached his hands up, Renzo pushed against him, causing him to gasp and making his arms fall to his sides again. He got the message loud and clear, realizing he wasn't supposed to be a distraction, but god. If that was his punishment he ought to do it again, and again...

He felt the clasp slip off an instant before his shirt and bra both slipped over his head and wound up on the floor somewhere off to the side.

First thought, oh god, Renzo took my top off. Second thought, now he's staring. There was no time for further thoughts, as now there were gloved hands on his breasts, groping and massaging, rubbing around and between and on and he couldn't think, couldn't breathe except those gloves had to come off right now and he reached forward to grab Renzo's hands. Not to push them away, as he'd obviously been assuming, but to strip the gloves off of them and toss them away with everything else. His hands were caught before he could move them again and now Tatsuya's gloves were off on the floor, their bare hands wound together before he pulled Renzo's sharply back to his chest.

"I thought you were pushing me away," was the murmur as he leaned forward, tentatively nuzzling Tatsuya's cheek with his.

"Gloves had to go," he gasped out. "Wouldn't push you away."

Renzo's shirt, he decided, had to go too. He wrapped his arms around his waist and tugged at it, yanking it over his head in a swift motion. He quickly moved his hands back to pull him down, because he knew, just knew that this might be too fast for his overcautious lover's sensibilities, and was proven right as the waist lock proved necessary. He traced a finger along one of the many scars gently, reassuringly.

"I don't mind," he said firmly. "I already knew. Remember?"

The answering murmur was a breath against his neck and he shivered, running his hands over Renzo's bare back. Some whispering voice in the back of his mind said halfway there... He spread his legs and slid his hands down the back of Renzo's pants, pushing him down and making them both gasp again.

"Tatsuya," they were so close, he wasn't going to bring up anything now that might damn himself, was he?

Of course he is. Argue him down.

"This isn't," he could hear the hesitation, "it's not like I'll die if we don't..."

"No," Tatsuya bit his lip. "You'd just...lose your entire sense of self. Ren, please, don't do this. Don't try and sacrifice yourself. Your life, your soul is more important to me than any supposed concept of honor, and it's not as if I'm truly inexperienced..."

You're not fucking a virgin, really, so you don't have to be so nervous, The voice in his mind chimed in helpfully. He nearly winced at the crudity, but that was something he'd have thought a long time ago. His innocence was long gone, anyway.

He belated realized that Renzo was a virgin, though.

Ooh, nice. Your first time as a girl, and you're getting fucked by a guy who has no idea what he's doing. He told the voice very firmly to shut up. He didn't care if Renzo didn't know what he was doing. It wasn't like it was hard or anything.

He swallowed, painfully, as they were both still and hadn't made a move. Then slowly, deliberately, he slid his body down Renzo's, wriggling to get mobile, moving to remove the last pieces of clothing between them. Belatedly he realized this was a mistake, as when he managed to pulled down pants and underwear he realized where his head was...

O-oh...

He realized Renzo had noticed too, since he had frozen entirely, apparently not even breathing.

Without even being conscious of what he was doing, he shifted his head slightly to the left, arched up, and wrapped his lips around Renzo's cock, immediately started sucking.

From the gasp and moan above him he realized what he'd just done and flushed, even as his tongue darted out, licking the tip. It was as if instinct had seized him, and he certainly wasn't getting enough of an objection to stop. It felt too good to stop.

He lifted his head up more, slowly moving his lips along the length, running his tongue up and down. He could hear, on some level, Renzo gasping his name, but didn't register it, pushing further, til the tip pushed against the back of his throat. He tried to reach his hands up and over so he could do it right, but they were caught around other fingers. Gradually he realized exactly what he was doing and his eyes widened, entire body freezing up.

"Tatsuya," he heard a croak, "what...what are you..."

As if he expected a verbal response, or maybe he really didn't know. Slightly regretfully, Tatsuya carefully pulled himself down, loosing the grip his lips had. Shame-faced, he wriggled back up to meet Renzo's gaze of shock, unconsciously licking his lips and swallowing.

"I suppose," he murmured, "you've never felt something like that, before..."

Renzo swallowed too, still staring at him. "Ah, no..."

He must have realized after that that any arguments about what was appropriate or allowable were somewhat pointless after that, as he wasn't slow to pull down and off Tatsuya's pants and underwear. The next step made them both pause though, for all that it was something they'd been aware they were working toward. The fact that both of them were actually naked, bodies pressed together, already sweaty and red and aroused seemed to pull at some instinct, dredging up the past seven years of friendship.

seven years ago, meeting in the woods, then the cove, gaining a crush for the first time--

He saw hesitation in Renzo's single open eye, and for the life of him couldn't think what to do, what to say. His throat was suddenly dry.

six years ago, standing in his office, the warm feeling as he was called knight, earning it months later in the forest--

He leaned up, sensing he had to move first, murmured "go ahead."

five years ago and defending him, speaking from a hospital bed--

There was still hesitation, but Tatsuya could feel the warmth between his legs and spread them a little further, silently coaxing.

four years ago, the horrible truth and then the tearing jealousy--

"Ren..." he whispered.

three years ago and so, so afraid for him, in leaf, falling to his knees in front of a puddle of water that slowly reshaped--

The kiss came first, this time confidently, lips fastening onto his own and pressing his head down and back into the couch.

two years ago and back to chaos, sennin, that awful awful fight and his heart breaking at the rejection--

He kissed back eagerly, need written into every motion and every line of the curves of his body, pressing his breasts to Renzo's chest and arching into him.

one year ago, becoming a woman in such pain, everything terrible that had happened in the past year, nearly losing him--

Hands running along his hips now, rubbing them and curving around to rest against his lower back, making him moan into the kiss, wrapping his hands into blond hair.

down to this, now, everything came down to now and this perfection, for whatever reason it happened--

He gasped and arched his head back, breaking the kiss as he felt Renzo finally take the plunge, pushing forward and into him, making him practically jackknife into the feeling with the shock of it. It was slow, and full of hesitation, but Tatsuya could vaguely hear himself whispering more more more and gradually he pushed in further, all the way, until they fit together perfectly.

"Ren," he moaned, letting himself be putty in his lover's arms. "This is..." everything I've ever wanted he didn't say.

The answer was a nip at his ear, and he could tell they had both relaxed into each other now, because there were hands wandering and pressing all over his body, rubbing and groping and digging in, as if it was too much for him, too, and he didn't dare say anything for fear he'd be exposed as an amateur.

It doesn't matter, he can do anything he wants to me, Tatsuya thought dimly.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Renzo asked, low and concerned, and he stifled a laugh because that was really, really the last thing to do when you were having sex.

"No," he assured. "It's just," he closed his eyes, "feels so good, don't stop," he was practically begging, now, even squeezed his legs together, making his lover start and gasp.

Let go, he prayed. Stop acting as if I'm made of glass and just go with what feels good.

There was no more hesitation after that, only motion, pleasure, and sensation. He lost track of the world around them, lost track of whose hands were where, of what the feelings were beyond knowing they existed, and sunk into the ecstasy. It was everything he was sure he'd ever wanted. Dimly, he was aware of his arms wound around Renzo's back, hands in his hair, the feeling of lips on his neck, teeth and tiny bites there, and then he blacked out.

When he came to, it couldn't have been more than a few seconds later. He was flat on his back on the couch in Renzo's office, sticky with sweat and exhausted, but completely content.

"Ren?" he murmured. So maybe it had been more than a few seconds, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes, at the most. Could it?

He turned his head when he heard someone clear their throat and wasn't disappointed to find Renzo sitting in a chair nearby, jacket hastily thrown over his shoulders and looking quite uncomfortable, and not entirely directly at him. It didn't really do a lot to hide anything, but Tatsuya wasn't about to clue him into this fact.

"Another few minutes and..."

He interrupted. "It's fine. You have to stop worrying like that," he beckoned him over again, and was pleased when the jacket was ditched and Renzo perched on the couch next to him, still awkwardly but now smiling faintly. He was obviously trying to convince himself that he hadn't done anything wrong, so Tatsuya added, "when a girl blacks out, that means they had fun."

"Oh," he turned a little red. "Huh, I guess I'm glad I didn't call anyone...anyway..." his hand was unconsciously woven into brown hair, playing with sweat covered strands idly.

"Did you have fun?" he would have reached over to stroke Renzo's leg, if he hadn't thought he would scare the skittish blond into bolting right then.

"Yes." He leaned down overtop him, and Tatsuya's breath caught in his throat. "I remember what you said before, or did remember just now...you didn't just do it for me, and that makes me feel less guilty. Sometimes, you go a little far in what you're willing to do for me and I wasn't really sure this wasn't one of those times."

"You don't have to feel guilty at all," he rebuked. "There was absolutely no downside to this."

"I hope not," was the agreement. There seemed to be something else there he couldn't decipher.

"And the only reason," he hesitated. "The only reason I'd do these things for you is because I know you'd do much of it for me. If I were the one who'd needed this, you wouldn't have hesitated. I did think about lying and saying it was me, because of that, but I thought it best not to..."

"Tatsuya, stop." There was a hand on his lips now, preventing him from speaking. "We could go in circles all day saying we'd do anything for each other. I think if it had been you affected you'd have hidden it from me or tried to, so I wouldn't help you. Though I am glad you talked me into it," he added, seemingly as an afterthought. "I don't think the alternative would have been so...uhm..."

Words seem to fail him, so Tatsuya just smiled and lifted himself up to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around Renzo's chest and pressing himself into his back.

"I'm glad as well," he said simply. "I had some concerns about whether you would think this was just a plot to get you into bed, and I was prepared to grab a quick blood sample off you to prove it was needed. I never know whether you will take me at my word or not."

This felt like one of their normal conversations down to the letter, despite the fact they were both naked, and both still winding down from the adrenaline rush.

"You should never doubt that I trust your word, Tatsuya," Renzo seemed to have relaxed into the feeling of the two of them skin on skin, and neither one was particularly embarrassed anymore. "I know I would never be able to find anyone more faithful than you. Though I still don't know why you ever decided to fall in love with me to begin with."

His recall surprised and gratified him. "I didn't...decide. That would have been awkward." He slowly wound himself around to sit in Renzo's lap instead, a more comfortable position for both of them. He smiled a little when a single blue eye flicked down briefly to look at his breasts, then back up. "It just...happened. It seems as if everything was coming down to now, since we met, and I'm not sorry for that."

Two strong arms closed around his back. "Well then," was the murmur in his ear, "neither am I."

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